Cats in the Cradle

New rule: you don’t get to bemoan the lack of children and youth in your congregation and then skip RE1 Sunday.

You don’t get to brag about your religious education program and then skip RE Sunday.

You don’t get to profess the importance of children as our future and then skip RE Sunday.

You don’t get to wonder why young adults who grew up in your congregation stop attending and then skip RE Sunday.

You definitely don’t get to consider cutting the RE director’s hours or program budget and then skip RE Sunday.

Now… I’m not sure if other religious traditions do this, but in Unitarian Universalism, we turn a Sunday service over to our children, where they and their teachers share from their experiences in classes/activities in a worshipful setting. Sometimes we also include a Sunday for young teens who go through what we call Coming of Age - I know Christian and Jewish youth do similar rituals. And if we have high school youth, they might lead a Sunday as well.

These Sunday services are vitally important - they mark transitions, they teach our children and youth about our common worship experiences, and more, they offer to the adults who say they support them a window into who these young people are, what they believe, and how they envision their future.

It seems to me that if we are concerned about building the beloved community and bending the moral arc toward justice and putting love at the center, we might want to support and hear from the people we’re raising to do that.

When we dedicate young children to our congregations, dedicating ourselves to support and care for them, this is the kind of thing we’re talking about.

I know that the adults who are involved in the various religious education programs - directors, coordinators, teachers, mentors, and parents - will attend. But what about the adults whose children are grown? What about the adults who don’t have children? Why don’t they attend, too?

If we believe, as Whitney so gorgeously sang, that children are our future, don’t you think it’s worth an hour to hear what they plan to do with it?

Now… I will say that I wasn’t always keen to follow this new rule of mine. I too was someone who didn’t often attend services involving our children and youth. I admit that too many times I have skipped Synergy at General Assembly, the youth-led service that often happens near dinner time before the Ware Lecture. (In response, one of my favorite colleagues is tipping his head, raising one eyebrow, and drawling “Well…” from behind his cocktail.)

But when I skip those services, I miss creativity, truth, commitment, courage, and promise.

So yes, I’ll follow the new rule too. Because I do believe that we might actually grow our long-term connection to the children and youth who grow up in our congregations if we show them they, too, matter, and not just as a number filling up the RE attendance sheets.

They need us to show up, not sing “Cat in the Cradle” to them by way of apology.

There are services on the calendar coming up featuring our children and youth. Make your plan to attend them now.

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