Limited Capacity
yes, in fact, everything is harder
I had a conversation with a colleague yesterday, wherein I admitted that I need more help than I used to. I felt a bit embarrassed by that, because I have always been capable, organized, and independent. I’m on top of things and have it together.
Except I don’t, and I haven’t for a while.
And while I started by saying “I’m so exhausted,” I realized that wasn’t actually the heart of it. I then said “I just don’t know if it’s long covid, fascism, or menopause.”
To which my colleague replied “we are all at limited capacity. Of course you need help. We all do.”
We are all at limited or changed capacity. Whether you had covid, or are just aware enough of the world around us to feel Weltschmerz (a feeling of world weariness or sadness about life arising from the acute awareness of evil and suffering), or are in fact in menopause/peri-menopause, we are all feeling it.
Some of you who are on social media may even be noticing how posts/videos about signs of ADHD, autism, or other neurodivergencies seem not just more frequent but may be leading you to wonder, “am I neurodivergent too?” with no previous diagnosis or need to wonder.
Our capacity has changed.
Not just in our personal lives, but in our congregational lives too. It’s harder to get things done. It’s harder to find people to serve. Things feel overwhelming and we wonder why we can’t turn things around. Where’s the energy? The commitment?
It got zapped when our capacity to hold so much trauma and anxiety got zapped. We aren’t meant to be on high alert for more than short blasts, so we can get to safety. But we have been on high alert for close to ten years now, with no end in sight.
So don’t be embarrassed if things take longer, or you need more reminders, or body doubling, or more naps.
It’s okay. The congregation will survive, and you will survive, as long as you don’t burn yourself out, thinking you can do what you used to be able to do.
Be like geese - shifting positions, offering both leadership and time to take advantage of others’ efforts. We’re all struggling; let’s not try to struggle alone.
