A Bit of Attention

Reminder: Hold My Chalice will be on a three-week hiatus while I engage the first part of my dissertation project, attend the AUUMM (UU musicians) conference, and spend a few days of vacation time taking in art with a dear friend. The column returns on August 12.

I don't know about you, but when I consider travel plans, I think about my route, whether I have the tickets I need, where I will fill up the gas tank, my hotel reservations, where I'll stop for lunch.

I never think about all of the people I will encounter along the way to my destination: the gas station attendant, the barista, the TSA agent, the convenience store clerk, the hotel front desk agent, the train conductor, the cashier at the drive thru, the janitorial staff in the restrooms. Plus my fellow travelers - those with me by choice, those with me for a moment because we're on the same public transportation or at the same service station or near each other in the restaurant.

Yet.

A combination of my parents, Mr. Rogers, and my faith taught me to be kind, friendly, patient, and at times notice if there's distress (more than once I've taken an extra minute at a busy check out line to help a frazzled cashier get over a harsh customer or a frantic pace by inviting a breath and offering 'you've got this').

I credit my faith a lot for this, and it's a lesson I wish more of us understood.

We get together once a week (more or less) to practice being human together. Yes, there is a spiritual dimension, and encountering the sacred is a meaningful - dare I say vital - part of our experience together. But also, we are in a room with other people, by choice. We're not stuck on an airplane or train together, but we are together - jostling for a seat, making room for each other, doing things together for the betterment of our congregation, our community, our world.

We are there practicing compassion and kindness together.

Why? So we can be kind and compassionate out in the world.

Yet too often, we just aren't aware of others. How many times have you been knocked into by a shopping cart at the grocery store? Or been the one so busy scanning shelves you are the one knocking into others? Are you aware of where you are on the sidewalk, and where others might be/need to be? Do you treat the cashier like a robot? Have you thought about how much you spread (legs, arms, bags) in public situations? Have you been cramped by someone else's spread? Do you notice when someone needs help, or a smile, or a breath, or someone to interrupt a potentially harmful interaction?

I know we're more conscious of it in congregational settings - we're there knowing we must be on our best behavior, because it's expected. We're told to love our neighbor, affirm the inherent worthiness of others, be in relationship, be kind.

What if that's just the rehearsal room, and we're supposed to do that all the time?

My three-week challenge to you is this: whether you're traveling or not, be more aware of who is around you and who is helping you. Pay closer attention. Don't be a jerk about it - some workers just need to get on with their day. But be attentive. And then let the kindness, compassion, and most of all patience flow.

Let me know how it goes.

See you on the flip side.