It's Just a Flesh Wound

It's no longer on my annual watch list, but sometimes nothing will scratch the silly British comedy nostalgia itch like the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail - which I watched last night.

Well, I watched some of it, because I got through this scene, and I had to hit pause because, well, we'll talk about that after you watch.

What got me? Realizing that too many congregations act like the Black Knight, particularly if they've had any significant conflicts or experiences with misconduct.

I have met many kinds of congregations in my career that have had troubles. Some of them face the troubles head on, do the long, thoughtful work of healing, and work to maintain health through good covenants, good behaviors, and good choices. But others choose to bypass the work, instead finding unhealthy ways to get past the troubles - often through ignoring the wounds, placing blame, and leaning into that awful way many of us were taught: to suck it up.

And therein lies the problem. When terrible things happen, we are weak for a while. And that's expected: we took a blow, we got sick, and we needed attention. We did not need to jump around on one leg, other limbs scattered on the ground, blood everywhere, and claiming strength.

In the clip, King Arthur goes from honest engagement, to fighting, to surprise, to contempt. He leaves, and all the while the Black Knight insists he is healthy and turns Arthur's rejection into a self-serving abandonment complex. "Oh, I see, run away" he shouts after Arthur and his companion.

How many ministers have engaged a congregation honestly, only to find fights, still bleeding wounds, evidence of harm strewn about - and a congregational system unwilling to do the hard work of healing? Too many, I fear, and too many leave feeling contempt and perhaps even pity. Some of them take the fight more seriously than Arthur has, and find themselves pushed out because they're the only ones fighting for the kind of health the congregation is unwilling to engage.

Yeah, this is a downer of a post today. Sorry y'all.

But as always, there is hope.

NOT an easy fix, but hope.

Right now, many congregations are preparing to welcome new ministers - some of whom have been hired specifically to help with some of the healing work. They're going to be asking some hard questions about the bleeding, about the limbs on the ground, about those who came before. They're going to challenge you in ways that will help you choose and engage in healing.

Let them. Engage with them. They aren't trying to blame you. They don't see you as weak or horrible or unworthy - they wouldn't be there if they did. But they see that you maybe aren't well, and maybe haven't been for a while.

Why not choose healing? What do you have to lose?