Doing Hard Things

I'm back! For a few weeks anyway, before another break for more doctoral work (it's gonna be one of those years).

It was an incredible journey, from getting to do some doctoral work with the amazing team at the UU congregation in Ann Arbor (where I had my first Detroit style pizza and saw both The Odyssey and Hadestown), to the soul-nourishing Association of UU Music Ministries (AUUMM) conference in Milwaukee (where yes, I drank beer and sang with dear friends), and then a slow journey home with my friend and neighbor Bailey Whiteman (and we saw some incredible art).

I'll be writing more about the doctoral work, the films, and the art soon, but today, I want to write about something about AUUMM that I think will be helpful as congregational years start up.

Like many organizations, AUUMM has had its ups and downs, and while the support and the ministries have continued, there were some rough times for leadership in the first part of this decade. By the time I returned to regular conference attendance in 2024, a lot had been identified and new leadership was in place, but you could feel the heaviness of what the organization had been going through, and mostly heard of the commitment to address the issues.

Now I don't know what all the issues were, and that's not my story to tell. But I can tell you that despite the joy of being together and the beauty of our music making, you could feel the weight of them bearing down on the leaders.

A year later, in Atlanta, much work had been done to resolve issues, and there was a sense of relief; it's that feeling when you reach a goal on something hard and breathe that heavy sigh but can't quite celebrate yet, because not everything is done yet. As a simple example, it's like cleaning out the garage, but then there are piles of things still in the driveway that have to be taken to the dump or put away, or prepped for the yard sale.

So now, another year, and we're in Milwaukee. We've wrapped up more of that work, we've put processes in place, and we've even hired someone to help with marketing and outreach so we can continue to thrive. As a result, we blew past our goal of 250 attendees and had over 300 (online and in person) - with 116 first timers! Leadership has seen us through the storm, has tackled the work, and in two years went from "maybe we should just burn it down" to "the state of AUUMM is strong."

How? How did a continental organization of people who are artists, not accountants, policy wonks, and conflict managers change course so quickly, strongly, and elegantly? And how can congregations who also have issues like this wearing them down not let them fester for a decade or more?

It was AUUMM president Jen Heyman who said it best: "if you're going to do hard things, do them with people you love and trust."

TRUST.

How many of our congregational leadership teams actually trust one another?

Oh, there's history? No organization is without it. Oh, your systems are complicated? Every system is. Oh, no one has time to dedicate to it? Our leaders are religious professionals. But we're so small... no one wants to volunteer... no one can agree. Okay, so start small.

Start with a small group of committed people, willing to trust the process, trust each other, and put in the work. I will tell you that the road will be hard, and there will be naysayers, but results speak volumes, so be transparent. Here's what we have done, here's what we are facing, here's what we're going to try next. That small group has to trust each other. Loving each other helps too - that cuts down on the tiny resentments and frustrations. But trust - that's the key.

If a far-flung professional organization can turn around in two years, so can a single congregation. But you have to be committed to the work, committed to the trust, committed to following through.

When you do that work, you become attractive and appealing. I'm beginning to think that system health is the X factor in attracting and retaining new folks; it's stealthy, but it seeps through the pores of the place, and folks can tell.

And now if you have this in your head, my work here today is done.